Hi, this is just a poem that I wrote. I would like some feedback, so please comment and I hope you enjoy reading my poem.
I will put in the Box
A powerful source of a simmering summer haze
A strong, wealthy, loving dog.
The flutter of a butterfly that is like a square jumping out of paper
I will put in the Box
The clouds that were playing.
An elephant too small to see, full of rage.
A net that is bouncy as can be also called a trampoline
I put into the Box
My grandads Army uniform,
An inch of light,
And a lightning strike.
I put into the Box
The wonderous mind of moonlight.
The whistling of wind
The overgrown grass that lives on the ground
My box is fashioned from dark grey wood & glass.
The top is a tinted grey blue glass with grey wood on the rims.
The hinges on the box are made out of old and rusted steel.
The bottom of the box is a dark grey wood
I Biked into the box
Through the woods, the bike wheeles hitting the ground,
The rough grounds rubbing against my tyres,
I see my dog zoom past, enjoying his time.
I like the description of a 'simmering summer.' Great alliteration. You have melded your writing with some beautiful images. If you are able to bike into your box then it must be a TARDIS. How incredible! Ah - but can you bike out again?
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your next blog post.