Kia Ora Bloggers!
In today's post, I will be sharing with you my E-asttle Descriptive Writing.
If you didn't already know, each term we do multiple writing workbooks where we complete a series of activities and long writes. This term's one has brought us up to our End-oF-Year E-asttle.
So far this term we have done multiple writing topics and our last one was descriptive writing. We did our end of year test based on this. I do not think I did my best but it will be okay!
I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed it too!
I have highlighted some of the parts and I will explain why later...
Here it is:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Market:
As my feet tread down onto the concrete, I can make out the quiet voices coming from the market becoming louder as I approach it. Glancing down upon my watch, I notice that is has just gone 12 o’clock. I am overcome with excitement, I am so very excited to buy new foods and maybe even something else.
Continuing to creep closer to the market, I notice all of the stalls are covered with Royal Blue Covers, it is reminding me of the ocean. The breeze gently taps me on the shoulder as it rushes by, making the market sound like the sea, all wishy washy. Walking past stalls, I spot people everywhere, even in the deepest most parts of the market; they are simply a never ending chain of numbers. Carrying on strolling down the market, I spy an orange on the ground, picking it up, I notice the little divots on the skin, making it seem rough upon look, but smoothe on feel. Standing up, I get a fresh smell of wind, making my mind fall into a cave of peace. Turning around in circles, the overwhelming smell of freshly baked goods drives me insane, so insane I buy some food. As I open my mouth, I spy the chocolate lathered pastry, and as I bite the flavour dances in my mouth, it dances until it is eventually all gone.
Hearing the chirping of birds, I thank them for the lovely music they create, bringing happiness to all. Staring up at the trees, I notice their gentle movement rocking back and forth. The greenery brightening up the whole market place. The noise of the breeze is rushing over me like a fresh splash of water, bringing clarity to my mind and body. I feel as if all of the sensations are bringing clear spirits and mind to me. The smell of fresh fruits and pastries are music to my ears. The food is an overwhelming smell that takes over my sense of being rational, I walk over to a stall and ask for food.
Glaring into the sky, the hot rays of sun burn my eyes and skin. The ground below my feet has become hot coals, you must be a master to walk on it. The smell of freshly baked goods has become dull, just like a grey sky. The chatter and laughter among people is still a burning fire, only just beginning. Walking over to a stall, I ask for a half of a Watermelon. Using a metal spoon, I bite into the juicy fruit. As I bite into it, the flavours disperse into my mouth like a bath bomb. Dispersing deliciousness all throughout my mouth, I find the urge to buy more watermelon; it is like someone is tapping me on the shoulder… Annoying.
Finishing my Watermelon, my eyes wander down the road that is my arm to my watch. I glare at the time, my eyes are almost popping out of my head when I see what it says. 4 o’clock! Staring up into the sky, I see the sun is further down, ready to set. So, I begin my trek down the concrete road. Savoring the last bit of Watermelon in my mouth, I realise, this day was good.
THE END.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The parts I have highlighted are the parts I am proud of. I am proud of these as they have descriptive writing that makes it nicer to read. It shows I can use Metaphors, Personification and similes in my writing. Looking at this piece of writing now, I can see where I could improve things and wish I would have done that then. I am so happy with this because I didn't put enough thought into, but I think I did string together my ideas quite nicely.
I really enjoyed doing this writing and I think that I have really improved since the start of the year.
If there is any way I can improve this, I would love some feedback.
Thank you for reading and I will see you next time!
Nga Mihi,
- Julia
